In many cases, the behavior of a crazy person is not too far off from the behavior of a person suffering from love. In many cases, in fact, what may be seen as an act of love by one person may be seen as an act of complete lunacy by another. In both insanity and in love, decisions are made and actions are performed in an Altered State of Consciousness.
What is it about love that causes us to become crazy and irrational?
Some of us truly believe that True Love is an experience of the soul -- transcending the body, mind, and even the heart. Others believe that what the first group believes to be 'True Love' is nothing more than a series of chemical reactions that take place as biologically and evolutionarily programmed behaviors and reactions.
At the most basic level, the latter school believes that love is driven by the basic need to procreate the species. At a slightly higher level, love is driven by a human need to satisfy the consciousness' desire to be able to identify itself and have social associations with fellow humans -- that the love that we feel for each other is little more than mutual emotional masturbation that produces good feelings (endorphins). The attachments and addictions we have for the love we feel are nothing more than chemical addictions, similar to drug addictions.
When a drug addict is high, they are in an Altered State of Consciousness and will do things that they would not normally do. When a person is in Love, a person is also experiencing a high (and thus, are also in an Altered State of Consciousness), and will also do things that they would not normally do (crazy). When a drug addict is at risk of losing their drug, they will react irrationally and illogically. When a lover is at risk of losing their love, they will also react irrationally and illogically (crazy).
When a drug addict loses their drug, they suffer withdrawal. When a lover loses a love, they also suffer withdrawal.
When a person does something nice for their lover, they are merely increasing their chance for a reward of increased love from their lover. And as we know, love feelings = endorphin rush. A definite bio-chemical relationship exists between love and craziness.
But are we really that simple?
Years ago, I stayed with Erin -- even after she had told me that she'd been cheating on me with my friend Jason, and was pregnant with his child. I forgave her, and told her that I would stay beside her and see her through her troubles. I continued giving the same love to her that I always did, for an entire month, until she became so abusive and violent that I could no longer handle being with her anymore.
Was this crazy? Or was this love?
At the time, I had two inactive backups. I did NOT stay with Erin because I feared being alone, nor because I feared the withdrawal symptoms of not being in love anymore. I could have easily jumped-ship to someone else and picked up my endorphin needs right where I left them -- but I stayed. There was no question that the night Erin confessed to me, I could end up in the arms of another woman who was willing to love me far more than Erin loved me.
Yet, I stayed not because I had the security of a backup, but in spite of it.
Even the thought that Erin no longer loved me didn't bother me. I still continued loving her, and giving her my love as I did before she confessed her illegitimate pregnancy to me. And when I finally left her, my greatest sorrow was not for my own loss... it was sorrow for her; that I knew her life would become so much more difficult without me in it to help her. Now, when the chemical argument is removed from the equation, we have to ask -- what was it that made me stay?
Maybe my love wasn't truly unconditional. If it was, I would have stayed and tolerated the abuse and still continued to love her. But no, in the end, I was still human. Still flawed. My love, just a shadow on a cave wall compared to the agape of the ideal world.
That brief period of time though... maybe there really was Love.
